World, stop crashing around me;
Life, stop crushing me;

Temptation, stop seducing me;
Conscience, stop eating at me;

Parents, stop lecturing me;
Friends, stop disappointing me;

Pride, stop making a fool of me;
Prejudice, stop hindering me;

Hunger, stop torturing me;
Satisfaction, stop leaving me;

Hate, stop finding me;
Love, stop losing me;

Me, stop destroying me;
God, save me.

-written by Sang-a Bae : http://prosiac.blogspot.com/2008/12/selfish-words.html

I am blogging at the moment, at 2:27 AM in the morning, because of the clamor within my mind. Everything that's going on in my life--the approaching college life, future, past, present--is increasingly filling up my thoughts. I can't sleep. Words are truly powerful, but not enough to save myself. I practically scream the above, yet even more confusion arises. I cry out for help, for strength, for fixture, yet nothing happens. I wait for the true deliverance, in my futile human's resistance, yet my defense easily crumbles to the ground, and once again, I find myself initially vulnerable and helpless, then indifferent. Having pleaded far enough, I find my soul has fainted, grown weary. And it keeps getting weaker and weaker, as every second flies by.
Despite of all of this, I see a glimmer of hope within my heart. I understand the sovereignty of God, but at the same time, unable to understand it within my own life. I understand His timing, but don't understand His timing in my life. In a sense, my patience is diminishing day by day.
When, God; when?